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Tiger By The Tale: # 1 Golfer Bites Bullet To Avoid # 2 Beating. Will Cops Go Away Quietly? 29.Nov.2009

Just keep your mouth shut or I'll finish the jobIt's official. Tiger has canceled his third scheduled appointment with the cops to discuss his little fender-bender. Guess those scratches on his face are still too fresh for examination. The last thing he wants is to see his wife locked up for domestic assault, especially when his alleged wandering dick may have caused it all.

So Tiger remains in hiding, hoping this all blows over and life can return to normal for him and his family. That might take a while. The tabloids show no sign of tiring, and the ambitious homewrecker has retained the notorious Gloria Allred to represent her. Is she selling her story? Why else would she need a lawyer?

Meanwhile, the cops want answers. The evidence doesn't corroborate the story: it wasn't the back window that was smashed, it was the two rear passenger windows. And his wife, Elin, wasn't the one who called 911; it was a neighbor who looked out his window and saw Tiger laying in the street and Elin standing over him. Was she still waving that golf club? Poor Tiger may be in the doghouse for a long time, whether he cheated or not.