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Katie Can Relax: Tom Will Carry The Scientolospawn This Time 03.Jun.2008

Or maybe it was that double barley kamikaze My breasts are so fullwith the barley milk chaser. He may only be 4'11" but Tom can pound those barley milk shakes better than mules and oxen twice his size and can plow the back 40 in half the time.

But can he carry a baby? As much as he'd like to think so, probably not, otherwise he wouldn't have had any use for Katie; he could have just turkey basted himself and not had a six-figure bill from Barney's.

If he is, who's the father? If they're keeping it in the church, that means Will Smith, John Travolta ... Kirstie Alley. Oh. My. God. That's it. It's Kirstie, and now that she's off the Jenny Craig plan she's gaining sympathy weight like no tomorrow.