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The Lohan Chronicles: You Know It's Bad When You Can't Get Into Canada 08.May.2009

Ma'am, step away from the MountieC'mon. You know anyone can get into Canada. They take our draft dodgers and fugitives all the time. So why would they have a problem with a tabloid fixture with an arrest record and a bad twitch?

Lindsay flew into Montreal last week to host a gig at a nightclub. Expecting to breeze through the airport in a blur of flashbulbs and orange skin, the mighty firecrotch must have been shocked when she was instead taken aside by customs and brought to a secluded office for an hour-long interrogation. The official line is that her DUI convictions came up on their database and they wanted to send her back home.

Was it really just that, or was there something else that raised the suspicions of Canadian authorities? Could it have been the three-month supply of Adderall or the stench of cigarettes and vodka? Combine that with her haggard appearance and the fact that after an hour withdrawal must have been setting in and it's no wonder she was red-flagged. She probably had to prove she had a car and driver to and from the event and then promise to fly right back out as soon as her gig was done. Which she did. I think it'll be a while before she'll be back.