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Sorry, Paula. Ellen Is The New Judge On American Idol 09.Sep.2009

Iss all 'bout me, bitshes ...hiccup!Wow. I bet she never saw that coming. Paula needs to give whoever was giving her advice on contract negotiation a good, swift kick in the ass. How will she afford her Vitamin V now? Just goes to show that drugs really do impair your judgment.

But enough of that soup sandwich. The powers that be at American Idol have made a brilliant choice in hiring Ellen as the new Judge # 4. She'll be excellent in that role, as she is in almost everything she does. It might even make Idol worth watching again.

But don't cry for Paula - she's already lined up a new gig. She'll be hosting this year's VH1 Divas show, exchanging slurry banter with stars like Leona Lewis, Kelly Clarkson and Miley Cyrus. She says she's so excited, and I believe her. As loopy as Paula is, she's a hard-working woman, and she's sure to make the show entertaining. As long as she doesn't sing.