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Tragically Misunderstood? Pamela Anderson Banned From Story Time At The Library 11.Dec.2009

It's OK, there's no big wordsThey said something about inappropriate subject matter ...

Poor girl's just trying to make a living. She's got a mountain of bills to climb out from under, and her house is only like half-done. Something's going on with her lately - you'd think with a steady guy in her life things would be good, but she just can't seem to get her shit together, and she looks like such a mess. More so than usual, I mean.

She had a gig lined up in London doing pantomime - I don't know if that means she's going to let her breasts doing the talking or what, but she's already canceled her performances, citing "issues". At least it wasn't exhaustion, or an impacted wisdom tooth. Maybe she just wasn't into it. She didn''t even bother to show up for rehearsal.

And now we know why. Pam has apparently been holed up reading The Big Penis Book. It's a subject matter she knows and loves well. She might not know much, but Pam knows penis. If there was a penis in her pantomime, she would've been there. No penis, no Pam. That's just how it works.