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Trouble In Xenu: Who Is Katie Screaming At? And Where Is Suri? 09.Jul.2009

I am not an incubator! I am a human being!Yes, the divorce rumors have died down ... for now. But when was the last time you saw Tom and Katie together? And who has Suri? We haven't seen her in ages.

Katie's off filming another movie while her deadbeat husband sits home and gets fat. No, they're probably doing the one parent works, one parent parents thing, but Katie has been looking incredibly stressed and haggard. What is he doing to her? Is he keeping her from Suri until she capitulates to whatever crazy scheme he has? It's probably nothing so sinister, but you have to wonder, in light of the church's murky history.

Katie reportedly refuses to discuss Scientology in any way, shape or form on the set of her new film, and has made the crew sign agreements not to bring it up. That makes sense - if you were getting the same old shit drilled into your head night and day, the last thing you'd want is to have to hear more of it at work. It's enough to make you ... well, scream.