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Kirstie Alley's Imaginary Weight Loss: Brought To You By The Church Of Barley Milk And Denial 01.Oct.2010

So what if I did? You know it's a f**ked up world when people like Speidi, the Real Housewives or the Jersey Whores can be famous, but a talented, beautiful no matter what size she is actress can't get paid unless she's talking about her weight. Or lying about losing it.

About a week ago Kirstie announced that she had lost 50 lbs. Today, photos were published that apparently put that claim into doubt. And all of a sudden it's a big friggin' deal. Hollywood is overflowing with fake boobs, hair extensions, recording artists who don't perform live ... or that suck woefully when they do. And weight? Those who don't have eating disorders are Spanx-ing the living shit out of their excess flesh or getting sumped out every six months or so. So why is this woman being singled out for fibbing about her weight?

It could be guilt by association. Kirstie is a full-fledged Scientologist, and nobody can live a lie like those folks. It tends to just get under a person's nerves, all that lyin' and denyin'. And after a while you really don't wanna hear it anymore. Nobody really cares whether Kirstie actually lost any weight, but not because she's a bad actress or a bad person, because she's one of them. Maybe if she wasn't, she could get a good-paying job again. Just sayin'. It's not like her fellow barley milkers are giving her any job referrals these days.

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