Will cry for cokeIf Lindsay could write for PrettyBoring (and if she could spell), she might say this about living La Vida Lohan the last few months:
- I've gotten more tail than Nicole, Britney and Paris - combined.
- I stayed skinny but that other girl stayed fat. Y'all. Does she like not realize like that I'm like from New York like? Like I don't even like eat fried chicken. Like moo.
- I found some great ways to mix and match drugs that even Mom didn't know.
- I found out that I don't really have any true friends. They only want a free ride. Can you believe that I had to resort to selling pictures to get my drug on?
- I made a movie that is so bad it might finish off what's left of my career. It's so unfair - I barely remember any of that whole shoot. It's all a blur now.
- I made a horrible mistake when I chose to get drunk, commandeer a vehicle, careen wildly through the streets of Santa Monica and then try to blame it on the black kid. Next time I'll blame the white kid with the weird name. If I make the same face as the one in my picture there, they might feel sorry for me. Suckers. Where's that mirror?