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The Great American Spinster Has Been Drunk Dialing Again: Will Mayer And Maniston Do The Bootie Call? 06.Jun.2009

So ... what are you wearing? Some people never learn. Any woman who continues to go back to a man who uses her and treats her like a take-out tray kinda deserves the misery she wallows in. How many times does he have to cheat on her and humiliate her before she learns her lesson?

All those stories recently about Jen and Brad texting and talking intimately are such horseshit. Brad and Angelina aren't going anywhere. Sure they have fights - what couple doesn't? - and their schedules sometimes keep them apart, but they'll be together long after Jen's biological clock runs out of steam. She'll still be paying for pretty boys when their family unit hits double digits.

So what's a bitter horny spinster to do when she gets her drunk on and has nothing to take it out on? Simple - she picks up the phone. The only one who'll pick up on the other end these days is Crotch Rocket Mayer, who's equally desperate for attention, only from the media, not her. He's smart enough to close his eyes and pretend it's someone else, though. He knows it's in his best interest and besides, he misses driving that Land Rover. It's such a chick magnet.