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Suri Escape Attempt: Soon She Will Be Able To Outrun Them All 27.Apr.2009

Security alert! Security alert!And if only Mommy would quit smoking, she could, too. She's trying, though, and Suri loves her for it.

She's had it with the barley milk, barley cookies and barley meatloaf, though. She's got so much fiber that she sounds like a pepper mill when she runs - and that's what tipped her holy bankrolling father and his team of assassins, I mean, bodyguards, off to her escape attempt. She ran as fast as she could, but her little girl legs were no match for the grown-ups - even if they are almost as long as Daddy's.

But don't count Suri out yet. Or her mama. Word has it that a certain Stepford Wife has consulted with some top-notch legal eagles about getting out of that marriage contract a few years early. I hope for both their sakes that it works. Katie only looks happy on her own these days, and Suri deserves to grow up in the real world, away from the Xenu craziness and elevator shoes.