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Matthew Broderick Ecstatic: They're Having Twins! He Can Finally Get Off The Horse 28.Apr.2009

Let's just buy one. My hoo-hoo hurts.Finally. After a few grueling years of forced ovulation, mandated copulation and all-around general emasculation he's off the hook: Sarah Jessica and Matthew are going to be parents again - this time of twins - and it was all done the scientifically detached way - with IVF and a surrogate.

There is no doubt in anyone's mind that Matthew loves their little son James just as much as his mother does; he just can't stand the mother. In almost every picture taken of the two in the last couple of years he looks ready to ralph while she pretends to be happy. Or maybe she is and could care less how he feels. It's hard to tell.

Regardless of their motivation, Sarah Jessica's one-hit wonder career has made them quite wealthy, so when her ovaries shriveled up like a slug in salt they just went out and rented a uterus. It's their own egg and sperm; they just needed a warm, soft place to hatch it in. The "incubator" is well-compensated: all expenses are paid plus a substantial fee. At least they had the sense to only have two, and not eight, eggs implanted. The world needs another Octomom like Mary Carey needs another boob job.