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Will Jon Gosselin Hook Up With Lindsay Lohan? Yes, If Her Father Has His Way 29.Oct.2009

Pure whoreDo they even know each other? No, and I doubt Lindsay's in any hurry to meet him, especially since she's still pining for Sam. He's totally not her type anyway, I think. Then again, if he's willing to pick up the tab ...

Michael Lohan, being the shamelessly relentless self-promoter, has latched on tight to Jon Gosselin since this summer, when he took him to the Hamptons. He tried to pimp a reality show about some stupid divorced dad club; nobody cared. White Oprah is harping on the child support every chance she gets, and he needs to make some money before she gets him locked up again. Lindsay claims to want nothing to do with him, but that's only because she's surrounded by poisonous influences. Only he can save her, and if he can't do a public intervention (preferably pay-per-view) he'll settle for a matchmaking fee. And who does he have in mind for his powdered princess? Why, his buddy, of course: the still married sperminator, John Gosselin.

Mike Walker over at the Enquirer thinks that someone should warn Jon of Michael's intentions, but I'm not concerned. First off all, he's a piece of shit like Lohan, so if he gets used he deserves it. More importantly, though, Lindsay is said to be getting an order of protection against her father. That might put a crimp in the whole matchmaking process.