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No Hot Tub, No Drugs And No Jailbait Sex: Stamos Blackmailers Convicted 15.Jul.2010

Yeah, I'd hit that. Hell, I'd SPLIT thatSee? I just knew Uncle Jesse wasn't that kind of guy. All you haters can go pick on a real sex offender, like Jeffrey Epstein. John Stamos may have made the mistake of befriending a much younger girl after a painful separation, but it never went anywhere. Until, that is, the young girl hooked up with an enterprising young entrepreneurial type who saw easy money.

Today the two nimrods from Michigan who tried to extort $680,000 out of Stamos were convicted of conspiracy and "using email to threaten a person's reputation". That's the oddest way to say "blackmail" I've ever heard, but whatever. This couple first contacted John to say that the girl was pregnant. When that didn't stir Stamos to action they upped the ante, saying they had pictures of him snorting coke and making sexy times with the girl and were going to sell them to the tabloids. Prosecutors were unable to prove the existence of any pictures, but the threat was made, and the judge wasted no time in convicting them.

Maybe now that he's able to put all this mess behind him John can finally find that wife he's looking for. He really does seem like a nice guy, and he's certainly not hard on the eyes. I'm not sure about that bellybutton, though.