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Hanes Yanks Charlie Sheen's Tidy Whities. Turns Out He'd Be Better In A Wife Beater 06.Jan.2010

Yeah, I know. That one was just too easy. That must be what Charlie's thinking right now, what with all the negative press his peeps have been planting about Brooke: her arrest record, her history of hard partying, even a story that she had to be rehabbed while pregnant - a story her lawyers angrily denied. Camp Sheen is working hard to discredit Brooke and put her in a position where she feels she has to take him back. Nothing could be further from the truth.

With all that good PR going, it's easy to forget that Charlie has a history of getting "handy" with his women. He's been in rehab twice and had no business drinking at all, holiday or no. He's a great actor, but let's face it. He's not a nice guy. He couldn't keep it in his pants if he wanted to, and frankly couldn't give a f**k who knows it.

That's not to say that Brooke is entirely without fault here: she was drunk, too, that night, and apparently can hold her liquor as well as her husband. It must have been quite the party if it ended with a brawl at 8:30 am. Good times. I think the judge should stick with the order and let these two get some space. And therapy. Oh, yeah, about the underwear: Hanes announced today that they're pulling their ads with Charlie for a new line of T-shirts. Not because of Brooke, though. It was Charlie's stiff little nipples that drove them over the edge. He's so butch!