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Kirstie Alley Says She Hasn't Gained Back An Ounce; Jenny Is Full Of S**t And She Can Do It Better 22.Feb.2008

No longer good role modelWhen Kirstie joined Jenny Craig she weighed in around 219 pounds. She was said to have lost 75 pounds using their system and cuisine, and for a while there she really looked great, even going so far as to appear on Oprah in a bikini. Brave move, that, although no one ever accused Kirstie of being bashful.

Lately, however, Kirstie has been looking a little plumper, like maybe those pounds were creeping back on. Maybe it was the stress of having to defend her beloved church against the rantings of more reasonable folk. Maybe she just hasn't gotten laid in a while. Maybe she's just in denial and thinks her clothes are mysteriously shrinking.

The folks at Jenny Craig are realists, and they've given Kirstie her walking papers. They're not about to let her make them look bad when Valerie Bertinelli has done such a great job and Queen Latifah is poised to come on board, giving the company exposure to an entirely new market demographic: the urban female. Refusing to be deterred, Kirstie claims she has her own weight loss program in development that will beat the pants off Jenny Craig. Hopefully by then she'll look the part again; she'll have a hard time getting consumers to believe her if not.