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Mischa Barton Made A Sneaker-signing Appearance At Lord & Taylor, But No One Came. 22.Jun.2007

(Note: This may or may not have happened exactly this way.) It's been a rocky few weeks since Mischa had that unfortunate (Antibiotics? Shrooms? Blow? A little of each? )-fueled meltdown at Nicole Richie's party. She's been laying low, staying out of the public eye while she gathers her wits about her.

But girlfriend has to pay the rent, so it was off to a Keds appearance in a Lord & Taylor somewhere. Probably somewhere nicely middle American, no pressure, no paparazzi, just smile and sign a few autographs and you can go home to a Xanax or two.

It was a Saturday afternoon, and the mall was bustling with shoppers. Mischa was all excited, thinking of all the teeny boppers that would come in just dying to meet her. She fluffed her hair, adjusted her lip gloss, and waited. And waited. And waited.

Despite huge banners all over the mall and announcements on her appearance over the PA every 15 minutes, the store was deserted. People literally shied away from the door like there was a plague inside. Finally, three hours later, a young girl approached Mischa.

"Excuse me," she said.

"YES? !? " Mischa exclaimed.Do you know where the bathroom is?