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Attention Singles: Star Jones Files For Divorce. She's Ready To Mingle, Baby! 23.Apr.2008

Built for ballast, not for speedOoh, look at that sultry vixen. The hooded reptilian eyes. That pudding-filled torso and those ashy gray knees. Better hurry on down, fellas; this one's not gonna last.

Up until recently they were playing the happily wed Mr. and Mrs. Beard in the social circles of Manhattan and Southampton. Star had her TruTV show to keep her busy, and Al became a connoisseur of the mid-day encounter. Was the cancellation of that show too much for her to handle on top of a loveless marriage? Or did Star finally catch Big Gay Al playing salami tag with the banquette boys? No one's saying, but Al isn't going to tuck his ... between his legs and slink off into the night.

Al has retained Stanford Lotwin, who has successfully handled divorce cases for such prominent clients as Donald Trump and Howard Stern, to represent him. His rep says Al plans to "take the high road", whatever that means. He won't be idle. Contrary to public perception Al's a successful investment banker and college professor. He's just not husband material, at least not for Star, but I'm sure she'll have no trouble finding another love. snort