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Somebody Better Check The Tanks At Seaworld. I Think Jessica Figured Out The Chicken Of The Sea Thing 11.May.2009

I've got a secret ...And it made a mighty tasty sandwich, y'all. So good she went back for seconds. And thirds.

Seriously, in most pictures I really don't think Jessica looks too fat. Yes, she's definitely curvy, but I think a lot of the more unflattering shots are taken from a bad angle or Photoshopped to death. Because the very next day you'll see Jess looking pretty slim.

And even if she was packing on the pounds, who cares? If Tony doesn't, why should anyone else? (He is still around, isn't he? ) But I dunno ... she doesn't just look fat here, she looks freakin' pregnant. Look at the swell, the roundness of her belly. If that was all Vitamin Beer it wouldn't be so smooth and shiny; it would be hanging down over her waistband like any respectable beer belly does.

If Jess is a little chubby, it's not a big deal. According to her, she's worth hundreds of millions, and could always get a little lipo and a tuck. I hope she is pregnant, though. It would be nice to see her get some good news for a change.