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Daisy Is Going To Kick Mickey Rourke's Ass For What He's Doing To All Her Boyfriends 15.Jan.2009

Pay no attention to the larger bitch behind meI mean, what's a bitch to do? Every time somebody suitable comes around Mickey's got them headed down to the vet for a little nip, nip, tuck, tuck. Daisy is positively livid. "I don't see him doing anything about his cojones," she was overheard growling to a fellow bitch at the groomer. "And if anything should not be allowed to breed, it's that thing."

It's amazing what a little career revival can do for a guy. If you're too young to remember Mickey in his oh-so-hot heyday back in the 80s, he was a sexy beast. Women would have lined up around the block to have his baby. Then he decided to take up boxing; when he wasn't getting his face smashed in he was lit up like Times Square.

After more than a decade of being considered unemployable, Mickey caught a huge break with his new film, The Wrestler, which I can't wait to see. It looks like it'll be one of the classics, like Requiem for a Heavyweight. Let's hope he can keep his nose clean for awhile. It's good to see him back at work again.