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Who Needs Friends? Angelina Shines At Tourist Premiere, Could Care Less About Chelsea Handler Or Her Spinster Buddy 07.Dec.2010

Pay no attention to the two hags in the cornerOK, let's look at both sides here. On one side you've got Angelina Jolie, A -list movie star. All of her movies are blockbusters. She's got the hottest guy on the planet and an amazing multi-cultural family. They live in mansions all over the world. They have love, and they are happy.

Pan over to the other side, and you see a much different picture. You've got scrawny windbag Chelsea Handler, whose greatest claim to fame lately is that she's banging 50 Cent -- but not without a fight. She had to chase him to New Orleans and then NYC, and he won't even publicly acknowledge it. Hmm, let's see: shamef**k or paid transaction? Sounds farfetched? Maybe not.

Chelsea recently took a little vacay-hey with her suddenly conspicuous spinster friend, Jennifer Aniston, she of limited success at the box office and abysmal failure at the altar. Also she who has never been above paying for arm candy or relationship rumors strategically timed to coincide with her movie releases. It's not a bad trade for Maniston; she's got money falling out of her ass and apparently still has a grudge against the woman who gave her former husband everything she couldn't or wouldn't. That's the real reason Chelsea didn't want to be photographed poolside with Jen in Mexico. She needs to get a new shtick. This homewrecker shit is five years old already ... and Maddox and Zahara are not pleased. They're the ones she needs to watch out for. Mom's too busy being a real movie star.