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Bitter Spinster Bethenny Frankel Doesn't Want To Be Like Martha Stewart, Content With Life In Loserville 19.May.2009

Can you say haggard? Not that Martha gives a rat's ass what the real househag has to say. Nor is she worried. Martha did time - and made friends - with the real hard asses; a self-absorbed media whore like Frankel is nothing more than a nuisance.

Funny, I never liked Martha until she went to prison. When I saw how well she handled herself and how kind she was to her fellow inmates she earned a new respect from me. Unlike some other celebrities who've done time, Martha was down-to-earth, just one of the gals, and it worked for her. An obnoxious, mouthy diva like Bethenny would get her guts stomped in 20 minutes or less.

Bethenny was on Martha's Apprentice but lost out to someone who didn't annoy the f**k out of everyone, and she's held a grudge against Martha ever since. She uses her sorry-ass Housewives show as her own personal soapbox to vent against Martha, but her remarks say more about her own relationship failure than Martha's. Martha is beyond all that now, while Bethenny is pushing 40 with no prospects in sight. Maybe if she kept her claws in and kept her yammering trap shut she might actually meet someone before menopause. Hey, it's closer than she thinks ...