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Kardashian Feminine Grooming Tips: Mayo Makes A Vagina Shiny. Umm, Is That Good? 03.Dec.2010

These are not my sistersHoly cow (pun definitely intended), these girls are just ... foul. They put all their most personal, most intimate shit out there for mass consumption. It all started with Kim's sex tape, and before we knew it, the thick, swarthy chick that used to ride Paris Hilton's coattails was running ahead of the herd, snapping up football players and TV shows like a grizzly on a salmon run. Nothing is beneath them - Kim recently even hosted the opening of a public toilet in Manhattan, and they were all set to launch their very own credit card, complete with ridiculous, possibly illegal fees, until a DA threatened to launch an investigation.

So they're making money hand over fist, but they still haven't learned how to act like respectable young women. In plain English, they're pigs. At a book signing for their new book, the girls talked about their penchant for vulgarity. Even though they know most of their fans are young, impressionable girls, they see no problem with talking about shining their vaginas. With mayonnaise. Excuse me, but why the f**k would you shine your vagina? Were you hoping to see yourself in it?

OK, so let's say you decide to buff your muff with that stuff. Now what? I mean, what happens if you're out on a hot summer day and your muff buff starts to turn, you know, like potato salad left out in the sun too long. Now all you'll have is rank, shiny heifers that nobody wants. Can you imagine how much it would cost to feed one of those things each month?