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The Beefcurtains Trilogy: Lauren Conrad Gets Book Deal, Awaits Input From Actual Writer 16.Sep.2008

Video game coming soon

Remember, this is someone incapable of spontaneous thought or action. When the director yells, "Cut!" she powers down like the little robot girl on Small Wonder.

She doesn't have a real job, even if she does make more money than you and I both. And our neighbors. And their cat. She doesn't have a real place to live. She doesn't have a real (or pretend) boyfriend, and she doesn't have a real life. She lives in front of the cameras - any camera will do. Just ask the paps she calls before she steps out her pretend door to go on pretend errands.

But they gave this empty-headed bitch a book deal. This is a slap in the face to real writers everywhere. The Hills sucks. So what if people watch it? People will line up to watch their neighbor's house burn down, or to watch them cut bodies out of a car in a fatal accident - that doesn't make it good. It's the same mentality the Romans had when the Christians were eaten by lions. Compelling but not healthy.