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Hospitalized Again: The Hoff Doesn't Have A Drinking Problem. It's The Sober Thing That's A Bitch 25.May.2010

I wonder if he gets frequent flier miles or something. He spends more time in the hospital than Amy Winehouse, but will admit to nothing. He won't even admit to being admitted a couple days ago. Neither will his daughter, who drove him there. The Hasselhoffs have learned that if you call 911 the paps will meet you at the entrance, so after putting up with Dad's drunken shenanigans for three days Robyn bashed him over the head and dumped him in the trunk. (Probably not - he's a big dude. She probably promised him a burger if he went peacefully.)

The Hoff, master of denial that he is, tried to appear the picture of good health today, going in for a fierce workout at a local gym that supposedly couldn't be done with a hangover. Huh. Back in my drinking days I'd hit the gym still half-drunk and just sweat it out. So I'm neither fooled nor impressed. I pity the fool on the next treadmill - he must have stunk like a wino.

But don't worry about the Hoff. Crusty old drunks like him will outlive all of us, pickled as they are. I feel most sorry for his daughters, who have had to put up with this shit all their lives, not only from Dad but from Mom, too, who just got out of jail after serving time for violating probation - she was still on probation for the first offense when she got bagged again. No matter who these girls live with they're going to be stuck cleaning up after a drunk, and that's just not right.