Dear Mr. and Mrs. Cyrus: Have you lost your f***ing minds? First the topless thing, and now this. Your lack of judgment is lousing up your daughter's career. It's hard enough for a young lady to make the transition from child prodigy to adult star without falling in with a bad group (Hello, Lohan? ) or developing substance abuse issues when the transition doesn't go smoothly (Paging Lohan!). To let your daughter appear like this is to court adverse publicity. Hef was right; Miley is going to grow up to be a stunningly beautiful girl. She's obviously on the cusp of womanhood, based on all those MySpace photos. Don't let her become a delusioned starlet who faints from lack of food or some other mysterious ailment.
Your daughter is at a dangerous crossroads. If you listen to the folks at the Kingdom, she'll be hog wild in a year or two. Something about that mouse brings out the sex-crazed nymph in the nicest girls. Maybe his high-pitched voice turns them on somehow. Oh, and one more thing: When she goes for a photo shoot, stay with her. It will keep her from being taken advantage of. Again. Protect her from those who would exploit her in all her innocence, before she loses it forever. Signed, Another Mommy