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The Piven Is A Dropout, Will Speed The Plow No More 19.Dec.2008

Probably feels as dumb as he looksIt's so sad. Really. (OK, not.) There have been so many stories circulating about Piven becoming a diva as his star with Entourage has risen; is Jeremy going Lohan?

The Piven has been appearing on Broadway in David Mamet's Speed the Plow to good reviews, but apparently the strain of appearing in so many performances was cutting into his party time, because he had his doctor call in a lame-ass excuse to get him out of the rest of the run. This obviously doesn't bode well for a return to the stage some time later in his career. Like after he rehabs.

According to Jeremy's doctor, he has alarmingly high levels of mercury in his system, and has to begin treatment immediately. I guess we were all wrong - it wasn't all that club hopping and skirt chasing that made him too tired to perform. It was mercury from his beloved sushi and "Chinese herbs". Skeptical? You're not alone. Director David Mamet, in announcing the Piven's departure, stated, ""I talked to Jeremy on the phone and he told me that he discovered that he had a very high level of mercury. So my understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer." Yeah, he'd make a pretty good dipstick.