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Jessica Simpson's Boobs Attack Eva Longoria 10.May.2007

When Boobs Attack What's orange and brown and confused by tuna labels?

Whose mammaries have become a danger to themselves and others?

No longer content with an occasional nip slip or ogling by Papa Joe ("I mean, look at 'em! They're Double D's!!"), Jessica's boobs have decided to take over. Jessica, nice girl that she is, is doing her best to keep them contained, but now they've taken Eva Longoria hostage, under the mistaken impression that someone will actually miss her when she's gone.

Eva looks a little nervous in this picture, but note Jessica's clenched right fist. In a gesture of true friendship, Jessica will now punch herself in the boobs, temporarily blinding them and allowing Eva a chance to flee.

Jess is becoming a caricature of herself. Lay off the spray tan and just be yourself. Go back to being a pillow-biting virgin, if that's what it takes.