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Return Of The Booty Call: Jennifer Aniston Drunk Dialing John Mayer 25.Sep.2008

Bitch, let me SLEEP!John, of course, is ecstatic because he's been lonely, but not for Jen, for the paps. They aren't returning his calls and he could strip off in the street and they still won't take his picture these days. His tabloid worth plunged to zero again within minutes of his announced breakup with Jen. He knew she'd be back, though. They always come back for that trouser rocket.

Britain's Daily Mail says that Jen has been calling and texting John daily since drunk dialing him when she got back from Mexico, where she probably got some work done. Friends say she's "longing for a reconciliation"; I say she's looking for some makeup sex without the makeup. Hey, it worked for Jessica Simpson.

The story goes on to quote insiders making excuses for the pathetic spinster, that she was really in love with John, that she's been drinking too much since they broke up. Oh, please. What a line of baloney.

Aniston would have been better off trotting out a lesbian story, like everyone else lately (except Ed McMahon). Only trouble with that is the only woman who actually likes her, Courtney Cox, is very married, and her husband has forbidden her from getting too close to Jen while she's in her "fragile state". The last time Courtney tried to help she couldn't get rid of her for a couple of years.