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Ugly Is As Ugly Does: Wtf Is Rachael Ray Wearing? 08.Apr.2008

Too many cheese-filled hash brownsI bet this was her creepy husband's idea. His plan was to make her look as ridiculous as possible so that she'd come home all pissed off and then flog and spit on him. It's his favorite thing in the whole world, and we all know she'll accommodate him; otherwise he will seek it elsewhere like he always has.

Gosh, where does one begin with such a fashion conflagration. First off, I have to say I hate Rachael's new hair. It makes her head look big and doughy. Speaking of big and doughy, since when did her body get so thick and doughy in the middle? She must be stealing Munchkins in between takes. You know she washes them down with Starbucks, though.

Back to the dress: It looks like it came from one of Imelda's old housecoats, and makes a bad situation even more tragic. The color, fit and most definitely the cut are just hideous on her. She needs to cover up her saggy man boobs (one is exiting stage left, the other stage right), lay off the complex carbs and stop smiling like a rabid chimpanzee. It looks like she'll say, "DELISH!" right before she rips your throat out.