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Will Andrew Morton Live Long Enough To See His Tom Cruise Tell-all Hit The Bestseller List? 27.Nov.2007

Such a manly manTom Cruise is not just a happy little crazy dude with a Napoleon complex. He's a delusional cultist who's about to be dragged kicking and screaming out of his luxuriously appointed closet. What will Katie do? Hell, what will Suri think?

With each day that passes, another juicy little tidbit is leaked from Andrew Morton's upcoming blockbuster about the secret life of Tom Cruise. Morton has sold his London apartment and gone into hiding, so intense was the Scientology vendetta against him.

Slated for January release, Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography is expected to blow the doors off Tommy's little closet, featuring such shocking details as what really went on in his marriages to Nicole Kidman and Mimi Rogers, and his non-marriage to Penelope Cruz. Find out how Tom really met Katie Holmes! Why Tom jumped on Oprah's couch! How Scientology helped Tom with his "intimate personal issues". Holy shades of Travolta! Of course, Tom's legal team is already issuing rebuttals against what may be said in the book, but I bet Nicole and Mimi are already snickering over their advance copies.