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Nicole Kidman Shows Off Her Whale Tail For Australia 11.Dec.2008

How sleekShe'll do anything to get this movie to sell. Following in the footsteps of other box office poison (read: Maniston) Nicole is turning up the sexy. And well she should; her career may depend on it.

You have to kinda feel bad for Nicole. She thought she was set for life when she was married to Little Man Cruise, but he dumped her right before her ten-year bonus kicked in. She has since found truer love with Keith Urban, but admits that it takes work to keep a marriage strong. He's not her problem, though.

When Nicole was younger she became famous not only for bedding the little man in elevator shoes, but because she had talent. She could act. As time went on, though, Nicole worried about the natural signs of aging, and enlisted the help of the Botox Fairy. One visit and she was hooked. Her forehead was so smooth it cast a reflection, like a mirror in the sun. If she tilts it just right she can even fry ants or keep ships from smashing into the rocks on a stormy night. It's that shiny. The drawback? Her face is incapable of showing emotion - she can't frown, or look mad or scared - she can only stare or smirk. That's not a lot of range for a high-end actress. Maybe if she lays off the freeze she can make movies people want to see again.