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Faces Of Meth, Part I: Pamela Anderson Ready For Child's Play, Can't Be Bothered With Little Things Like Pants 08.Dec.2008

Omigod like let's party like this place is so cool like who has my purse like can you get me a drink ...She's got it all wrong. If your face falls before your body, you have to cover the face before exposing the rest of the body. Honestly, Pammie's body is still mad curvy, but that's only because it's made of space age polymers and irradiated plastic. It could survive a nuclear holocaust or meteor strike without a sag or wrinkle.

Above the neck, though, is a much different story. It's no wonder Pam usually wears a shitload of eye makeup - it's the only thing that keeps them from bugging out like that. She must have missed the memo that said that if you're tweaking, look down. Flashbulbs make meth eyes glow in the dark.

Speaking of glow in the dark, look at those giant capped teeth. See how the lips have pulled away from the gums? Anna Nicole used to smile (grimace) like that, too. Is David LaChappelle her Howard K. Stern? He and his camera follow her everywhere lately. Ever since Hef airbrushed her nipples she hasn't been the same.

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