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Lindsay Lohan Sneezes, Paris Blanketed By Mysterious White Powder 17.Nov.2008

Thar she blohans!Somewhere Amy Winehouse is screaming. She'll be OK, though. She's off to the clinic for her conjugal visit.

Seriously, someone give Amy a Valium - that ain't coke, it's flour. (Yes, I know, that means somewhere Betty Crocker is pitching a bitch.) It wasn't Martha Stewart, flour bombing her for jiggling her braless chest on her show last year. It wasn't Rachael Ray bingeing out on holiday pastries. No, it was those crazy PETA bitches again, this time protesting Lindsay's puny little fur stole. Speaking of stole, Lindsay's done that with a fur or two, but that's a different story.

PETA didn't do anyone any favors ... except their firecrotched target, of course. Now that her career has tanked she has to settle for riding Samantha's coattails to keep herself medicated. They both get paid for these appearances, you know. And no matter what they say, they love the attention - good and bad. If PETA keeps it up, maybe someone will give Lindsay a real job soon. I hear the Sizzler's looking for hostesses - no experience necessary.