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Rumer Willis: Potato Head In A Prom Dress 19.Aug.2008

What, no combat boots? How does she get those itty bitty dresses around that massive melon? They must be sewn onto her long and lanky frame. Even if you take that nightshade skull and Leno chin out of the equation, there's her bone structure. It's just ... wrong. Not feminine, not quite masculine. Could be Potato Head, could be a pool boy in drag.

So why does everyone take her picture and tell her what an "unconventional beauty" she is? That's like when you go visit an old friend or co-worker who just had a baby. You walk in, and the kid is uglier than the ass end of a Kardashian. You don't want to hurt your friend's feeling, so you just tell her what a healthy looking child she's got.

It must be like that with Rumer. She's got a gorgeous mother and a not-so-handsome-but-cute dad who may not be A-list anymore, but they still have plenty of clout. If their daughter wants to be a red carpet walker, then so be it. I hear she's on some new reality show, too, but I simply didn't care enough to investigate.