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Sea Creature Causes Gossip Mayhem: Who Is Cameron Diaz Boinking This Week? 27.Aug.2007

Last week it was allegedly John Mayer. The paparazzi followed her slime trail from hotel to restaurant and back to the sea. It was simple. This week Cami has gotten wise to their tricks, however, and has circled back a number of times to confuse the trail. So now we're left to wonder: Who's up to date on their shots and feelin' lucky? Eenie meenie miney mo ... Bachelor # 1 is a notorious womanizer, once married to a notorious swinger but forever tarnished by a fling with a nanny named Daisy. It's hard to get over being one-upped by someone named Daisy. There was a report on the web today that Jude Law has rented a house in Hawaii and hired a private jet to ferry his web-toed princess from the mainland to his scrawny waiting arms.

Bachelor # 2 is even more curious. Our contestant, Bradley Cooper, was once married to Jennifer Esposito for all of five months, typically an indicator that at least one of the marrying parties is a few fronds short of a fern, if you know what I mean.

After Criss Angel I stopped trying to make sense of Cameron's taste in men. Perhaps she's still looking for a place to rest her fins, but I can't imagine her seeking anything too permanent. That tiger JT spoiled her for other men with the breathtaking scope of his man love. At least she's gotten over her taste for other women's men - after Melanie Griffith fly to Europe to throw her a righteous beating for flirting with Antonio, I think it's safe to say she's finally learned her lesson. If not, Melanie will be back to pour salt on her again. (Get it? Salt kills slugs. Oh, never mind.)