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Nicole Richie Diet System: Painkillers Chewed Slowly Are Much More Filling 23.May.2007

Did you guys notice Nicole Richie was missing? Maybe she was just turned sideways. I'll have the air sandwich, hold the bread.According to TMZ, Nicole vanished from the paparazzi landscape sometime early in May. No one cared. No one wondered where she was. There was no search under Joel Madden's double-wide for her remains.

No, she's not dead. When I say remains, I mean what's left of her poor little body after being starved, cranked, poked, and roto-rooted down to 83 pounds. That's right - 83 pounds. But I digress.

When Nicole and her flaks realized that people really didn't care about where she was, who she was wearing and who she was with if it wasn't Paris Hilton, they released a leak about her addressing her weight and pill abusing issues.

All the hard core Hollywood party girls are burning out. Coming up: Hayden Panetierre tries the blue Crystal Light. Look. Out.

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