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Marriage To Fetish Boy Turns Rachael Ray Into Raving Terrorist, Thousands Of Donuts Missing 29.May.2008

Jihad! I mean, delish!Well, they're not really missing. Rachael just needs to look behind her ... she's now wearing them.

Rachael may know food, but she doesn't know dick about fashion, as her recent red carpet forays have shown. And now that she's gotten decidedly plump in the midsection, her choices are even more unfortunate. If she wants to get back at that twisted little freak she married, surely she could do it in the privacy of her own home. Why does she have to hurt everyone else's eyes, too?

Rachael's feeble latest attempt at fashionista has created a small riot among ultra-conservatives by wearing a scarf that resembles the keffiyeh, the "traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad," according to Fox News commentator Michelle Malkin. Dunkin Donuts initially tried to downplay the furor, but ended up yanking the ad to avoid further controversy. Next time they should just put a bag over her head - it will do a better job of hiding those beefy jowls than any scarf could.