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Two And A Half Crackheads: Charlie Sheen Free To Party And Choke Out At Will. Brooke And The Naked Hooker Aren't So Lucky 05.Dec.2010

See? Told you it worksNo wonder Charlie's always smirking. He must feel like a Teflon john - he got naked in the bathroom of an exclusive restaurant with a face full of blow. That alone would have gotten you or I arrested, but hey, he's Charlie Sheen. Regular rules don't apply to the It Boy of the sitcom world.

So while Charlie keeps rockin' on, putting the whole crackhead meltdown in the Plaza behind him, those around him continue to feel the fallout. The naked hooker is currently up to her neck in shit - after threatening to sue Charlie for roughing her up, she's now quiet as a mouse after Charlie's lawyer, the legendary Marty Singer, sued her for extortion and for stealing his fancy schmancy watch. Did she? Singer's peeps say they've been "getting calls about the watch and what Capri did with it". If she was dumb enough to take it, I hope she at least had the sense to throw it off a bridge or something, instead of hiding it in her underwear drawer.

Also in the soup these days is Charlie's ex, Brooke Mueller, who won't admit to jumping off the wagon the night before Thanksgiving even though her parents sent the sober house hunk to drag her out of the hotel where she was partying with Paris Hilton. Isn't she supposed to be on some kind of probation (Wonky, I mean)? Brooke's still spending her days with the twins, but goes to the sober house at night until she feels she's strong enough to stand on her own again. And the boys are staying with her parents, not their dad. You know, because it might cut into his coke and hooker time. Priorities, people. Priorities.