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Janet Jackson Presents What Not To Wear When Trying To Hide Sudden Weight Gain 26.Jan.2009

Miss JacksonBlack is not always slimming, people. Oprah is probably the best at hiding sudden weight gain - but who's got that kind of money, anyway? Not Janet - every time she tries to get on stage she gets whoopsie and ends up in the hospital. Unfortunately, her hit-making days seem to be long behind her.

Maybe it's the stress of being stuck at home all day with her likewise unemployed boyfriend. He staked his career on making her last album a hit. It tanked, and he walked the plank. He had to know his days were numbered after she drank him under the table and he puked in her lap.

Of course, things might not be as they seem. Janet could have just been bracing for the unusually cold weather in London by dressing in layers - about 30 of them. And Jermaine may not have been fired; it could have been a mutual parting as he claims. Regardless of what really happened, or how much Janet really weighs (which is really none of our business), I feel bad for her. She's one of the few Jacksons with any real talent; it's a shame she can't reclaim her glory days. I hope she hasn't pissed through all her money like her creepy brother(s) did.