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Woody Allen Still In Love With Scarlett Johansson's Great American Boobs 22.Aug.2008

Great American acting, size DDActually, he denied that she's his muse, saying that Scarlett is "one of the great American actresses." Well, that's what he has to say when Soon-Yi is around. If she catches him motorboating in ScarJo's heaving rack one more time, she'll send him back to Mia, where he'd end up stuffed in the dumbwaiter. Again.

Maybe he's just fascinated with her intense self-absorption. Nobody is more into Scarlett Johansson than she herself is. She claims that she had to get over loving herself before she could love someone else. Before you start to think her humble, however, she quickly reminded the interviewer that she does in fact pee rose water and needs at least four people to towel her off, as opposed to Mariah's measly pair of towelers.

Scarlett is in fact a very pretty set of knockers, but I wouldn't call her a great American actress. She's no Lauren Bacall, Katherine Hepburn or Bette Davis. That's like calling Nicole Kidman a legend; a bit premature, a bit gratuitous. Anyone can buy a star on the Walk of Fame these days. Simulated orgasm does not a good actress make; anyone can do that.