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Hef Wants To Know: What Have They Done With Pamela Anderson's Nipples? 07.Oct.2008

Happy birthday, HefLook at poor Hef. He's just beside himself. "Where are they? " he screamed. "How can I powerboat without speed bumps? " It's just tragic.

This is a picture of Pamela Anderson bringing Hugh Hefner his birthday cake. In the nude. For the 12,000th time. Yes, it's old, but hey, he's no spring chicken. The trick never gets old with him.

Notice anything ... not right about this picture? Something missing (besides Holly and company)? Yes, her nipples are gone, the victims of a lame trend that seeks to push the envelope of censorship. Somehow showing a woman's entire breast on TV is now OK - if you don't show her nipples. I guess it's not considered obscene to digitally mutilate monstrous breasts. Is this supposed to make them not look like giant boobicles? It's creepy.

And even if this wasn't an electronic feat and Pam's nipples really did fall off? No biggie; she wouldn't even notice. She lost feeling in her cans years ago. She could set them on fire and not notice until the implants melted.