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David Copperfield Sexual Assault Charges Vanish Into Thin Air. Just. Like. That. 13.Jan.2010

It's that easyAnd we all thought he was so guilty. Huh. Go figure. Today federal prosecutors announced that they're dropping their investigation into sexual assault without filing any charges. Turns out the alleged victim in this case may have been a bit full of shit.

It all began two years ago, when a woman claimed that Copperfield lured her to his private island and forced himself on her. His lawyers said all along that she was an extortionist, and turns out they may be right: TMZ is reporting that this woman was questioned by police in Washington last month after an altercation with a man in his hotel room. She said he assaulted her; he said she demanded money for sexual favors. In light of all this, charges against Copperfield have been quietly dropped.

But now I'm confused. Back when this story broke there were all these lurid tales of Copperfield the sexual predator, that he handpicked his conquests from the audience of his shows, had them brought backstage and dicknotized them. It was hinted that more victims would be coming out of the woodwork but I haven't heard of a single one ... does that mean Copperfield is just misunderstood? I dunno, but he still creeps me out.