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Katie Holmes Too Weak To Walk: Tom Cruise Won't Let Her Eat Until She Submits To Baster 05.Mar.2009

Needs a sandwich, will settle for the crusts.Aw, c'mon. You don't think they made Suri the old-fashioned way, do you? You know he hasn't had it since it had him. I don't care how many couches he jumps on. How do you make babies when you're not in the same room, never mind the same bed?

Katie has been looking worn down again lately. She's getting magazine covers and looks healthy and happy in them - all bow to the power of Photoshop - but in her candids and pap shots she looks fatigued and hungry. Real hungry.

Why is this girl dieting? She's reportedly cleansing her body of impurities before she undergoes another rigorous fertilization campaign. The exalted one needs a male heir to the throne. Plus, he's jealous: she's getting work and he isn't. If he knocks her up again she'll be laid up for a year or so. By then he should have her firmly convinced that she should retire and be a full-time mom - and then her goose is cooked. I wonder when the last time was that she actually got to visit her family or see her old friends? If it wasn't for Suri I think she would have stuck her head in the oven by now. Without the beads.