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Oprah Winfrey Has 6 Toes, Feels Lifelong Alienation From "this Little Piggy" 17.May.2007

We have to be extra nice to Oprah Winfrey or she will crush our puny asses - legally, not literally, you chuckleheads.

Oprah is the most powerful woman in show business, and one of the wealthiest people in the world. She has a book club that can turn a bullshit farce about drug abuse and recovery into a bestseller, and then snatch it all back when the truth comes out. Hell hath no fury and all. She owns property all over the world, travels first class, wears the finest designer clothes ...

So why doesn't she do something about this? Count 'em Maybe the one on the end is one of those useless appendages, like the front legs on a T-Rex, just kind of wiggling and flapping there. Maybe she's got really horrible balance and that extra digit is the only thing keeping her from teetering and crashing.

More disturbing, perhaps this is a sign of an alien invasion. Quick! I want to count the toes of Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Kirstie Alley, just to start. And just to be safe, I want to count the TeleTubbies' toes as well - maybe Falwell was on to something.