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Lindsay Lohan Forced To Collect Empty Cans For Cigarette Money, Begins Transformation To Gnome 09.Apr.2008

Evidence of Alien InvasionOr troll. She's applying for both positions, and will take the first opening. She'll have to do something soon; the $20 she gets from cashing in cans is barely enough to cover her four-pack-a-day habit. Any other money she's making goes into an account she can't access. White Oprah isn't about to let her party her retirement plan away.

Dina's protective, motherly urges don't extend to her daughter's actual welfare. If it did, she'd be alarmed at the pictures of Lindsay zonked out of her gourd (seemingly on ecstasy) that spread all over the web. It was like Coachella '07 all over again. She's hanging out with her worst influences and friends again, out all night every night, but no one cares.

And where is Papa Lohan this week? Is he off in the Caribbean with his girl? Surely such a rehab expert can do more for his daughter than whore her out to the media.