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It Came From The East River: Li'l Kim Needs To Ease Off The Eyeliner, Put Down The Ho-hos And Get On The Treadmill 24.Jul.2007

Simon Bar SinisterLi'l Kim has such a pretty face - under all that greasepaint. I think homegirl looked better when she came out of jail. I'm sure somebody in her entourage tried to dissuade her from all that pancake makeup, too, but you know she can throw down.

Li'l Kim needs a stylist. That dress makes me think she went shopping with Britney. Maybe if she got back into the studio and cut some new tracks she'd feel better about herself. Judging from the look on her face, she's miserable right now, and I can't say I blame her.

Does she have a boyfriend? Why is it that successful Black women can't seem to find a good mate? Oprah has had Stedman on a leash for at least 30 years or so, but seems more likely to marry Gayle than ol' Steddie Boy. You can't count Star Jones and Gay Al. Everyone knows he's just milking it for what it's worth, and she'd rather be a beard than be alone.

C'mon, Kim. Your legal problems are behind you. You still have millions of fans that adore you. Hey, little clown, turn that frown upside down. Cheer up. And if that doesn't work, go have a cookie.

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