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Paris Hilton Wants New Bff; Life Just Not The Same Without The Animal 30.Sep.2008

Wonky and Animal in happier timesParis and Britney shared a special bond; try as they might, they could never outdo each other in the "who's trashier" contest. Britney had the native-born edge, but Paris' trash-craft has been honed for years. It was a toss-up. Perhaps it's best they remain apart.

Paris is hawking her new reality show, where she has a competition to find a new best friend. Maybe if she didn't screw all her friends' boyfriends she'd have better luck at keeping them. I could be wrong, but I doubt it. She may still "be with" Joel, but she's stalked other pretty boys when his back was turned and will probably continue to do so. (Cristian is still disinfecting.)

The two former pals both released new singles this week. Britney's new "comeback" song, Womanizer is said to be a disappointment, which saddens me. As much as I love to poke fun at the little chumpot, she's been through a lot this year and I'm secretly rooting for her to succeed. I don't think she's out of the woods just yet, and I think her label is pushing her too hard. Paris also released a new single today commemorating her reportedly suckish new show. I haven't listened to either just yet, but if Paris' BFF song is anything like Stars Go Blind I don't think we're missing much. She may be a brilliant self-marketer, but when she sings it sounds like someone stepped on the cat again. Hurts. My. Ears.