The new Newlyweds? Oh, that crafty Papa Joe. In light of the ongoing economic recession he's had to dig into his bag of tricks to keep his younger daughter's album in the media. He probably doesn't want to release any more singles from the disc; both of the tunes I heard online were ... well ... pretty bad. Like worse than Avril Lavigne's last album bad.
So Papa Joe finally acquiesced to Ashlee's wish to marry Pete (who once resisted Ashlee's charms but is now too stoned to care). When that didn't set the world on fire he probably did the only thing a fame-whoring dad would do: throw a baby in there. It doesn't have to be real - hell, it's probably best that it's not, at least until all the drugs have had a chance to get out of their systems - but it's a sure thing.
And thus the story was born, and grew a life of its own: Is she pregnant? Us Weekly says yes, but both Pete and Ashlee have denied it, and I'm inclined to believe them. They're both big kids anyway, and are so not ready to be parents. Besides, they've got a dive bar in Manhattan to run and Pete, at least, has good music to make.