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Britney To Paps: You Don't Hit Me, I Hit You. But Thanks For Paying For That Lighter I Stole. 10.Dec.2007

Britney and chinsBritney must be off her Provigil again. Can you take that while pregnant? I'm not saying she is, but In Touch still is, so who knows? You know what they say - throw enough stuff against a wall, something's bound to stick.

Britney had yet another paparazzi encounter today as she made her way to Starbucks. I thought she was going to hire a driver. No, the solitary, greasy-headed redneck mama dragged her fat ass and about 40 paps into Starbucks with her, then dragged them back out when she got her cup of swill. As the sea swell of sweaty humanity jostled its way to the driver's side of her Benz, a clumsy pap bumped into her car, enraging the miserable creature. Without turning her head, she snapped, "Don't touch my f***ing car. I swear to God."

In other why-won't-she-just-go-away news, Britney is also under fire for snatching a lighter from a gas station convenience store then bragging about it on live video. I guess she's determined to make things as easy for Kevin as she can - we'll probably see some kind of motion filed any day now. The convenience store manager didn't mind, and her little sycophants over at x17 Online went back and paid for it, but she needs to realize these are the little things that will keep her from getting her boys back. Or maybe she does realize it, and is acting like a slovenly ho on purpose to avoid her parental responsibility.