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Roid Tard: Hulk Hogan Would Like To Be Like Oj But Doesn't Have The Balls 15.Apr.2009

Wrong finger, assheadThat's because they shriveled up and disappeared from all those years of juicing. He probably has the man parts of a Ken doll now. No wonder Linda left him for a little boy with a jackhammer in his pants.

Whatever the alleged reason for their split (everyone knows they did it to protect their assets from the Grazianos), once that old heavily painted cougar got a taste of freedom she was history. The pool boy was probably the first one who got drunk enough to take her on, and she spoils him so he's not going anywhere. The bitch is spending $40,000 a month and the Hulkster is mad; mad enough to consider murder.

Hulk tells Rolling Stone that it's ripping his guts out to see the pool boy living in his house, driving his car, shagging his wife (well, he should be relieved about that part), and that "I totally understand OJ. I get it."

Linda, for her part, also gets it. She's been calling 911 and filing complaints about her husband stalking and threatening her for months now, and we all thought she was full of shit. Well, she is, but that doesn't mean he should be allowed to talk like that without some kind of observation or investigation. In New York that would be enough to bring him in for a little chat at the very least.